A Family Inquiry: When One Story Becomes Many

it is all about perspective

Background Art by PaposoArt

For some reason, this memory of a visit to my family in Costa Rica over 20+ years ago has been in my mind, quietly insisting to be written. It’s as if the moment itself was unfinished, waiting for me to return to it with words. And so, I find myself revisiting that night—the warmth, the laughter, and the unexpected conversation that opened a door to our family’s hidden stories.

It was a typical family gathering—great food, laughter, and the familiar comfort of being surrounded by loved ones. After dinner, we all settled into the living room, sinking into the couches and reminiscing about old times. The conversation, as it often does in such moments, turned to stories we hadn’t discussed in years. But this time, the tone shifted when my young nephew asked a simple question: “Why did you move to the United States? And how did it happen?”

That question opened a door to a moment in our family history that, until then, had been left largely unexplored. My decision to move took everyone by surprise. I began to tell my version of the story—how I came to the States, the incredible people I met along the way, and the support I received that helped me stay. As I spoke, I noticed my mother’s eyes welling up with tears.

What followed was a rare and powerful family inquiry. My mother shared her side of the story, revealing how difficult it had been for her to watch me leave, to not know when she’d see me again, and to grapple with the uncertainty of my future. My sister then added her perspective, recounting the same period in a completely different light. My father, who I had been arguing with at the time, chimed in with his own memories and feelings.

We even Facetime with my brother, who was out of the country, so he could contribute his version of events. The conversation became a mosaic of memories, each piece colored by the emotions and experiences of the person sharing it. Even my brother-in-law—then just dating my sister—stepped in to offer his point of view.

By the end of the night, we were all in tears. It had been 20+ years since that pivotal moment, and we had never openly discussed how it had affected each of us. The experience was surreal, almost magical, and it felt like a scene from a movie. I regretted not capturing it on video or recording the conversation, because it was a moment of raw honesty and connection that I knew I would cherish forever.

The Power of Multiple Perspectives

That night, I realized how rarely we truly listen to each other’s stories. We often assume that our own version of events is the only one, or at least the most important one. But as my family sat together, sharing our memories and feelings, it became clear that the truth was far more complex. Each of us had experienced the same event in a completely different way, shaped by our roles, our emotions, and our relationships.

This realization made me think about how we document and share our lives. In an age where technology allows us to record everything—photos, videos, voice memos—we still miss the most meaningful moments. The spontaneous, unplanned conversations that reveal the depth of our relationships. The night with my family reminded me of the importance of capturing not just the big events, but the small, intimate exchanges that define who we are.

I think there have been movies like this, but the idea of writing a book—or even a blog—about our different points of view is incredibly appealing. Each family member could write their own chapter, offering a unique perspective on the same event. The result would be a rich, multi-layered narrative that captures the complexity of family life.

The Value of Open Conversations

That night also taught me the value of open, honest communication. For 20+years, we avoided talking about how my move had affected everyone. I would like to think that when we finally did, it brought us closer together. The tears, the laughter, and the shared memories created a bond that was stronger than before.

I believe that every family (and maybe even friendships!) has moments like these, moments when the truth is hidden beneath the surface, waiting to be uncovered. It’s not always easy to have these conversations, but they are essential for understanding and healing. They remind us that our stories are not just our own; they are part of a larger tapestry, woven together by the people we love.

Capturing the Magic

Looking back, I wish I had recorded that conversation. But maybe the fact that it wasn’t captured makes it even more special. It exists only in our memories, a shared secret that binds us together.

Maybe the magic lies in the unrecorded, in the fleeting nature of each moment.

Still, I’m inspired to find new ways to write about my family’s story— Perhaps one day, we’ll write that book. Or maybe we’ll use a platform like Substack to share our stories with a wider audience. Either way, I know that the most important thing is to keep talking, to keep listening, and to keep sharing our truths.

Final Thoughts

That family gathering was more than just a night of reminiscing. It was a moment of connection, of healing, and of discovery. It reminded me that our lives are shaped not just by the events we experience, but by the way we remember and share them. And in a world, that’s increasingly shaped by technology, it’s important to remember the human connections that truly matter.

So, the next time you’re with your family or good friends, take a moment to ask about their stories. You might be surprised by what you learn—and by how much closer it brings you together.