Doing Embarrassingly Well

Embracing Vulnerability in the Wake of Recovery

Audio Version: (added on 6/7/2025)

As I work my way back to normalcy after my heart attack, I’ve been surprised by the range of emotions that have surfaced. One in particular, has taken me back: A little embarrassment—not at my setbacks, but at how well I’m doing. After ten weeks of healthy eating, regular exercise, cardiac rehab, and rejoining the social scene, I’m doing remarkably well. Yet, as I reconnect with friends, colleagues and clients, there’s a nagging feeling just beneath the surface.

This past week was particularly interesting as my cardio rehab program continues to push forward, social events with my wife resumed (party with good friends) and a pretty big occasion to celebrate my daughters engagement! It was an exhausting week, that at the I had to opt out of some and stayed home alone.

It’s wonderful to see the pleasant surprise on people’s faces when they realize how well I’ve bounced back. Their support and encouragement mean the world to me. But there’s a small voice in my head that keeps replaying the events from those scary weeks. I feel a strange sense of embarrassment that others had to witness my health crisis. Did they really have to go through that with me? It weighs on me to think that my ordeal may have caused them worry or forced them to confront their own fears about health.

This emotion is complex. On one hand, I want to celebrate my recovery and share the positive changes I’ve made. On the other, it’s uncomfortable to acknowledge that my experience disrupted the normalcy of others’ lives. That realization brings a sense of vulnerability, reminding me that I am not invincible after all.

I’ve been reflecting on where this embarrassment comes from. Maybe it’s rooted in a desire to protect those around me, or perhaps it’s the discomfort of being seen as vulnerable. It’s humbling to realize how interconnected we all are—how our struggles ripple out and affect those we care about.

But maybe this embarrassment is a natural part of healing. By sharing my journey, I have the chance to foster deeper connections and open up conversations about health and resilience—topics I never expected to discuss so openly. Facing this embarrassment head-on, I’m learning to shift my focus from self-consciousness to gratitude for the support and love that surrounds me.

As I step back into my professional and social life, I remind myself that vulnerability is part of being human. While I may feel embarrassed at times, my experience also offers others a chance to reflect on their own health and well-being. In sharing my story, maybe I can inspire empathy and understanding, and create meaningful dialogue that transcends my own self-doubt.

Ultimately, I’m committed to owning my journey—not just the triumphs, but the uncomfortable feelings too. Writing about it is part of my healing. Here’s to navigating recovery, one step at a time—and to growing, unapologetically.

What do you think? Am I crazy? I’d love to hear from you!